HIMR Archive

Chronological archive

2017

281 videos

01

January

25 videos
2 January
I broke down in tears at the New Year's party in Japan - social anxiety At a 2011 Japanese guesthouse New Year’s party, he retreated after 20 minutes alone and cried privately for 10–15 minutes. He returned calmer, spent the rest of the evening playing Tekken/Soulcalibur, and relied on games or his phone to interact. Feeling abandoned by his girlfriend’s attention to friends and other men, he became jealous and later recognized his immaturity. 11:45 Why I never want to learn how to drive After spilling milk at work, he salvaged most with two containers, refrigerated food, and found long-expired sealed prawn crackers. He firmly rejects driving or car ownership at 27, preferring online shopping and trains, and dismissing car-dependent dating as materialistic. The shift went well: no nagging from one coworker, and another remembered his Christmas card, saying her container held breakfast. 11:23
3 January
Growing up as mixed race in England - Racism and Bullying Primary school was sociable and popular; relocating after his grandfather’s death forced a school change that preceded isolation and bullying. At school, he endured daily racist abuse, mocking, intimidation, sabotage, and one snow- dragging incident over five years, mostly verbally. A former school friend recently failed to recognize him after nearly fifteen years, underscoring lost connections and his ongoing isolation. 14:26
4 January
5 things I liked about South Korea He enjoyed fried chicken, Chinese delivery, kimchi, and lettuce-wrapped meat, but stopped buying kimchi because his father hated its smell. Korean internet uploaded 20-minute videos in 30–40 seconds versus 5–10 hours in rural England; he noted the city-country comparison was uneven. He navigated Seoul’s clean subway alone to meet relatives; freezing December weather required coffee-shop warmups, while supermarkets offered free samples. 11:06
6 January
How being unemployed affected my mental health After roughly four years unemployed, he describes depression, isolation, 12–14-hour sleep, gaming, financial scarcity, and feeling worthless and outside society. His parents’ repeated pressure and hurtful remarks damaged their relationship, though they did not impose an ultimatum or remove housing. After four months at the petrol station, he remains satisfied, has not quit or been fired, and handles strangers better. 10:07
8 January
I got fired over TEA! He lost an office job after refusing tea rounds, preferring Japanese study; years later, he still rejects the custom. A mixed-race video neared 300 views via Reddit; strangers linked family photos, prompting him to remove them and reconsider privacy. Shorter videos reflect late-night work, waking late, parental presence, and ongoing uncertainty about meals, sleep, and filming time. 16:58
9 January
I wish I could enjoy reading books After Rogue One, he bought a Star Wars book to improve vocabulary, but found it unbearably boring after forty pages. He says concentration collapses: forcing pages produces little comprehension or memory, while audiobooks fail when paired with gaming or drawing. He questions expensive fiction purchases, considers psychology or self-help instead, and imagines psychology training or becoming a therapist. 10:36
10 January
Why is skinny-shaming OK, if fat-shaming is not At 5'8" and 45 kilograms, Daniel describes extreme thinness, varied eating, and a genetic rather than illness-based explanation. A coworker repeatedly labels him skinny, suggests a doctor and disease; Daniel says the comments are insulting and stigmatize thinness. Body shame affects clothing and swimming: he hides under layers, avoids shorts and public exposure, and retreats to his room. 10:57
11 January
Online dating vs real life dating He rejects nightclubs, drinking, dress codes, and approaching customers, citing low confidence, no friends, and discomfort with loud settings. He defends a roughly £20 monthly online-dating subscription as cheaper and broader than meeting women in bars or clubs. Online, he met several women: one relationship lasted two months before she deleted and blocked him; others lacked mutual attraction. 7:06
12 January
Similarities between me and Elliot Rodger After a viewer compared him to Elliot Rodger, Daniel researched Rodger, noting shared Malaysian-British background, similar age, and resemblance. He listened to four hours of a ten-hour manifesto, strongly relating to bullying, loneliness, rejection, gaming, and withdrawal. He distinguished himself from Rodger’s misogyny and status-seeking, crediting Japan, acceptance, and affection with redirecting his own isolation. 10:34
13 January
3000 calories weight gain challenge Rare heavy snow excites him, prompting nighttime play and nostalgic memories of cancelled school, sledging, friends, and dangerous snowball fights. After averaging 2,000–2,200 calories at roughly 45 kilograms, he targets 3,000 daily for four- to-five weeks, hoping to reach 50. One recorded day totalled 2,360 calories, including a 1,430-calorie lunch; night-shift meals run from 8 p.m. to 7 a.m. 10:20
15 January
Giving in to Social Pressure As a teenager, rejecting popular culture isolated him, though joining a football group revealed he enjoyed the activity. Smoking a 50p cigarette with popular pupils briefly brought acceptance; he later stopped, believing belonging—not nicotine—drove participation. He links peer pressure to heavy Christmas drinking, longs for like-minded face-to-face friends, and unexpectedly questions an American customer. 9:22
16 January
Why I hate the Newspaper At the petrol station, he assembles newspaper inserts on the freezing floor, repeatedly interrupted by customers and an automatic door. He returns many unsold papers, questions why unpopular titles remain stocked, and finds handling topless papers, pornography, and condoms embarrassing. He calls newspapers outdated beside free online news and predicts decline, but reverses himself: the task provides purpose and work. 9:05
18 January
Racial Identity - Do I see myself as White or Asian He identifies more with his Asian side, explaining that childhood alienation and travel to Japan sought a place of belonging. Britain and Asia alike leave him visibly and culturally in-between; Japan’s conformity, work ethic, and foreigner status also feel alien. He links mixed-race appearance and school bullying to low self-esteem, low confidence, and social anxiety, imagining homeschooling a bullied future child. 10:30
19 January
I tried 'Meetup' in Japan and hated it - Failed attempts at socialising A friendly Japanese guesthouse resident became Daniel’s rare comfortable connection, encouraged Meetup, and later moved home, disappointing him. He panicked at the crowded, noisy ¥500 Ikebukuro Hub event, could not approach the organizer, and left immediately. Solo karaoke transformed the day: two hours of singing restored his mood, and he repeated it four or five times. 14:21
21 January
Why I don't post on the r_hapas Subreddit. He declines posting in the Hapa subreddit, perceiving hostility and defensiveness; sensitivity and preference for polite debate make participation intimidating. He defends interracial couples, acknowledges an Asian preference, but says personality matters increasingly; his Asian-only relationships reflect socializing and partners’ initiative. The 3,000-calorie plan causes more hunger and bowel movements without weight gain; DNA results are ready for a health-and-ancestry reveal. 12:16
22 January
MY DNA RESULTS - Ancestry composition of a mixed race person A £140 test reported 51.3% East Asian/Native American ancestry, including 40% Chinese and 5% Southeast Asian. European results included 21.6% British/Irish and 25.6% broadly Northwestern European; 3.1% Neanderthal ancestry surprised him. Health results were mostly reassuring, but he noted increased baldness odds and simvastatin- related myopathy risk. 9:33
23 January
A traumatic and humiliating childhood experience At age ten, he kicked a younger schoolmate’s shoe jokingly; the boy’s older brother approached carrying a baseball bat. After running home crying, he avoided the park; learning the boy defended his brother later reframed encounter as mutual bullying. At work, he criticized customers abandoning small purchases instead of meeting the £3 card minimum or choosing available cigarette alternatives. 6:30
24 January
Some people ACTUALLY think I'm a girl A customer called him “ladies”; staff and children have also mistaken him for a girl, especially with long hair. He refuses to change his hairstyle or grow a beard, joking about shaving his head at 2,000 subscribers. He thinks Western dating rewards masculinity, whereas Japan’s acceptance of feminine- looking men better suits his appearance and wish to remain himself. 7:01
25 January
Why I got banned from selling on Ebay - How not to run a business! He shifted from charity-shop reselling to bulk Chinese/Hong Kong watches, earning only £6– £8 daily after fees and defects. Japanese knife sharpeners sold 5–8 daily, but accepting orders while stock was unavailable triggered 20–25 refund cases. eBay left a roughly £1,000 negative balance and banned selling despite nearly 2,000 positive feedback and repayment. 8:24
27 January
EVERYONE HATES ME He watches Eurasian Writer’s video about him, mocking its sped-up delivery and claims that he is hiding, damaged, or unattractive. He rejects literal readings of his channel names and tests suggestions to cut his hair, wear contacts, and build muscle. He challenges contradictory claims about his appearance and Asian girlfriends, arguing attraction is personal and a white girlfriend is unnecessary. 3:07
29 January
I was beaten up by a girl. Responding to criticism of his preference for Asian women, he questions whether fear of rejection contributes to dismissing white women. A blonde schoolmate demanded £20 after her bracelet broke during a bag dispute, then harassed and punched him repeatedly. Peers laughed and offered no help; believing he could not hit a girl, he paid £20 to end the ordeal. 4:58 I was physically abused by a blonde white girl. Responding to criticism of his preference for Asian women, he questions whether fear of rejection contributes to dismissing white women. A blonde schoolmate demanded £20 after her bracelet broke during a bag dispute, then harassed and punched him repeatedly. Peers laughed and offered no help; believing he could not hit a girl, he paid £20 to end the ordeal. 4:58
30 January
I got a girlfriend! He began dating a Japanese woman online in early January; they talk daily and plan a two- week Japan meeting in April. She is eight years older, divorced, and has a nine-year-old daughter; he defers stepfather and long-term questions until they meet. He is not quitting YouTube, but lengthy calls and five night shifts leave only brief filming time. 8:09
31 January
Reading hate comments about my girlfriend After work, he reviews unusually hostile reactions to his new online girlfriend video—ten dislikes—and plans their first Skype chat tomorrow. He defends the 36-year-old divorced mother, dismisses catfishing and therapy concerns, and claims he would outdo her abusive ex as a father. He rejects local dating, prefers overseas Asian women, rejects having children, and presents his new long hairstyle as defiance. 12:02

02

February

16 videos
2 February
I'm just looking for love He rejects the “sexpat” label: Japan includes sex, but he seeks love, affection, mutual commitment, and a serious relationship. Two 4–5-hour video calls confirm her identity, revive spoken Japanese, and reconnect him with years of study. Despite warnings and prior failed relationships, he books leave, researches flights and hotels, and plans to meet her, accepting uncertainty. 6:20
3 February
The French girlfriend At a Japan guesthouse, a Thai-born woman adopted by French parents became his secret partner after they began sleeping together. Jealousy over her male friends caused a phone struggle, neck injury, breakup, and continued sex; messages revealed complaints, not infidelity. After five unhappy months in Japan, he left for Korea and his ex, deeply hurting her before their final goodbye. 12:48
6 February
I have a REALLY small £#!% He recalls Japanese people praising his tiny face; unfamiliar with the beauty ideal, he demonstrates its size using a CD. His first Japanese girlfriend felt embarrassed by the contrast, standing behind him in photos and objecting when he moved closer. He speculates about ethnic body proportions, worries his tiny face may deter women, and jokingly wishes for a similarly proportioned cloned girlfriend. 4:51
7 February
Life Updates - My Girlfriend, My Job, Happiness He booked a direct Japan flight and hotel for April: two days in Yokohama, then nine days near her prefecture. Four-to-five-hour daily Skype calls leave 5–6 hours’ sleep; her unread message triggers fears of rejection and losing travel costs. Petrol-station work feels secure and confidence-building: 40 guaranteed hours, benefits, roughly £1,000 monthly savings, and better customer interactions. 16:15
9 February
Birthday Parties Terrified Me - Social Anxiety As a child, he hid upstairs during crowded birthday parties, sometimes eating leftover cake afterward; one party ended when two friends fought. He froze at a noisy friend’s party, went home with his father, and later regretted receiving no encouragement; nursery anxiety eventually eased. He now argues encouragement should replace avoidance; parties still scare him, though supportive coworkers enabled him to dance at last year’s Christmas party. 7:09
13 February
How I learned Japanese At 17, Evangelion sparked two years of daily anime; he then self-taught Japanese online, learning the alphabet in about ten days. He spent heavily on YesJapan’s 200+ $1 lessons, passed JLPT Level 2 in 2009, later failed Level 1 on reading. A nearly two-year Japanese-only online relationship ended when she married a Czech man; he now plans April’s meeting quickly to avoid repeating that loss. 10:05
14 February
Sony 35mm f_1.8 OSS lens - Unboxing and Video test Daniel unboxes the Sony 35mm f/1.8 lens, excited but frustrated by the difficult packaging. He emphasizes its compact, hand-sized body, initially comparing it as similar-sized before calling it slightly larger. A quick test demonstrates background blur; he asks whether viewers prefer this lens or smartphone videos. 3:46
15 February
My First Crush As a socially anxious child, he hid upstairs during visits from Malaysian-British family friends, often joining only after lunch. At 14, he developed a crush, took her number from her handbag, prank-called her, and became depressed when contact ended. The obsession lasted two years with hidden photo collages and emo music; by 2010, he moved on and barely spoke. 14:37
16 February
I was in love with a stupid Taiwanese girl After years of intermittent contact, he visited a Taiwanese friend in 2016; she looked attractive, but rejected his hoped-for relationship. He abandoned his flight, retrieved luggage, secured 90 more days, and stayed three weeks with her family. Her night work, long sleep, limited communication, Ghost Month restrictions, and his isolation produced depression, anger, and a breakdown. 16:04 The real reason why I went to Taiwan last year After years of intermittent contact, he visited a Taiwanese friend in 2016; she looked attractive, but rejected his hoped-for relationship. He abandoned his flight, retrieved luggage, secured 90 more days, and stayed three weeks with her family. Her night work, long sleep, limited communication, Ghost Month restrictions, and his isolation produced depression, anger, and a breakdown. 16:04
17 February
All my ex girlfriends were ugly He refuses to show ex-girlfriends’ photos, citing their privacy and opposition to sharing them with strange internet viewers. He deliberately targets women he considers similarly or less attractive, older, married, mothers, or psychologically troubled, prioritizing sexual access. He frames this as protection against jealousy and rejection, admitting low self-esteem and insecurity before derailing into grotesque metaphors. 4:51
22 February
Why I hated teaching English in Japan In 2011, about 30 weekly hours at Lawson and an izakaya covered rent, food, and socialising, but enabled little saving. A female Ikebukuro student gave one-word answers, left after 20 minutes claiming a friend needed her, paid ¥500, and embarrassed him. A friendly 2014 student restored his confidence through five weekly ¥1,500 lessons, yet he remains unpassionate and unsure teaching suits him. 15:32
23 February
I wet myself in japan At 21, during his first Japan trip, isolation and unfamiliarity culminated in wetting his guesthouse bed after a comforting dream. He washed the clothes and sheets, dried the mattress, and concealed the incident from staff, fearing humiliation. He contrasts it with later Japan friendships and South Korean night sweating, interpreting bodily reactions as responses to unfamiliar environments. 6:31
24 February
My Skype Girlfriend wants to have my babies! His girlfriend says she would happily have more children if they were his, despite their not having met; he feels flattered but unprepared. He postpones parenthood pending maturity, mental stability, finances, and relocation to Japan; they agree contraception is prudent. He questions fertility, approaching age-related pressures, children’s genetics, and parenting ethics, imagining paid chores or discipline experiments. 9:57
27 February
Why I hated having Chlamydia In August 2014, after reconnecting by email with a Japanese woman, he visited her Oita apartment; unprotected sex preceded chlamydia symptoms. Urinary discomfort, joint swelling and disabling pelvic pain followed; tests were chlamydia- positive, HIV-negative, while repeated sex caused reinfection despite antibiotics. Two years later, intermittent reactive-arthritis hip pain is improving; negative follow-up tests prompt him to endorse condoms or mutual testing. 10:13
28 February
I'm lazy and have no motivation At 27, he feels unmotivated and ashamed of petrol-station work, spending £3,000 on Japan to meet an online girlfriend. A coworker swore at him over drink-stocking; alone Sunday, he completed roughly 17 tasks versus coworker’s 7–8 and earned praise. He wants solitary work but lacks direction; a computer-science course, webcomics, and gaming commitments repeatedly ended when interest faded. 17:11

03

March

15 videos
1 March
Welcome message for new subscribers + Thanks George George Trombly’s feature brought over 100 subscribers overnight; Daniel welcomes them and agrees to meet George in London despite discomfort. Daniel presents his channel as a community for socially anxious, introverted viewers, emphasizing quietness is difference, not defect. His mood reverses from workplace depression to pride in YouTube; he recalls overcoming camera shame and losing an older channel. 8:33
2 March
Ordering food in Japan when you have Social Anxiety He describes severe anxiety ordering food: family, friends, and ex-girlfriends usually order for him; he sometimes points instead of speaking. In Japan, unfamiliar service questions overwhelmed him; after a convenience-store misunderstanding, he researched phrases and avoided food requiring heating. He prefers Japanese touchscreens and ticket machines; as a teenager, repeated “yes, please” at McDonald’s exposed his communication panic. 11:31
3 March
I was homeless in Japan and spent a night in a karaoke room After an argument, his Japanese ex expelled him; he travelled Oita–Hakata, spent seven hours outdoors, and considered leaving for South Korea. Her apologetic emails brought him back; they reunited in Oita, then chose overnight karaoke in Hakata over sleeping outside. The karaoke was noisy; sightseeing revealed an ex-girlfriend photo, prompting silence, ten minutes of public yelling, tears, and reconciliation. 9:24
7 March
Awkward Vlog with George (笑) Daniel meets George Trombly in London; hours spent seeking ice cream end with them lost in a deserted, dungeon-like passage. They film an intentionally awkward extrovert–introvert collaboration, joking about Daniel’s discomfort and George’s supposed dislike of meeting him. At a dessert venue, they sample alcoholic ice cream, struggle with connected cones, and greet a dog named Norby. 5:54 Introvert meets Extrovert (I met George!) He overcame trembling anxiety speaking Japanese with his mother’s friend, sustaining hours of real-life conversation about Japan and relationships. He met George Trombly in London for nearly eight hours, travelled alone successfully, and felt inspired by George’s optimism and confidence. His 28-page Fiverr translation took eight hours for $10; new offers prompt higher pricing and possible departure from the petrol station. 16:29
9 March
1000 subscriber special Q&A video! In the 1,000-subscriber Q&A, he says YouTube reduced filming anxiety and now hopes channel, translation, artwork replace petrol-station work. He prefers Japan, imagines living in both countries, reports persistent social anxiety, and weighs about 44kg after abandoning weight-gain efforts. Responding to a hostile essay, he defends job and online relationships, rejects conformity, admits limited character growth, and remains uncertain. 26:29
11 March
Becoming a step dad Girlfriend proposes evening hanami with her nine-year-old daughter in Nagano, only about three days after Daniel arrives in Japan. Meeting the child makes him more nervous than meeting his girlfriend; he lacks experience with children and fears rejection. He interprets the introduction as evidence of serious commitment and vows to share maternal attention while becoming mature and responsible. 9:12
14 March
I hate my coworker After a 4 a.m. argument and repeated swearing, he feels exhausted, anxious, and determined to leave the petrol-station job. He postpones quitting 10–12 days to secure April and holiday pay, choosing a two-week Japan trip over staying until July. After five Fiverr translations, he wants independent translation, artwork, YouTube, and webcomics, launching the Drawing in My Room channel. 16:28
17 March
Nightshift at the Petrol Station - Vlogging at work Working alone, he finishes every task by 4 a.m., leaving two hours; he finds the job easy but profoundly boring. He contrasts his “good enough” 80%-standard work with his coworker’s perfectionism, which he says causes delays and constant nagging. He nervously tours the workplace, risking punishment because he expects to quit, and shows expansion, CCTV, stockrooms, and routines. 6:21
20 March
My girlfriend wants me to move to Japan and marry her His girlfriend is open to marriage before meeting, which they consider a possible route for his long-term life in Japan. His girlfriend supports earning through Fiverr, YouTube, and art; Fiverr brought about $80 in two weeks. At 28, he dislikes birthday attention and acknowledges marriage-before-meeting repeats past mistakes, despite claimed differences. 10:13
22 March
Asking for verbal consent doesn’t work At a Japan guesthouse, he slept 6 a.m.–7 p.m. to avoid noisy groups, then befriended an Iranian woman with anxiety. After shared meals and YouTube, he asked for sex; she revealed a boyfriend, gently refused, and they resumed friendship. He values direct answers despite humiliation and remotely pranked noisy Mario Kart players, stopping when his laughter made him obvious. 7:22
24 March
My worst job. At 14, Warhammer 40K addiction drove five months of chicken-farm work, funding roughly £1,000 in hobby purchases. The work meant 5 a.m. starts, foul air, contaminated eggs, bare hands, and dangerous conveyors that crushed his mother’s fingers. When barred for being under 16, he sold armies and painted miniatures for friends, but those friendships ended after secondary school. 7:39
27 March
My girlfriend is the most boring person in the world Girlfriend gives him the silent treatment amid 2–3-hour sleep, an undisclosed car crash, and complaints his Skype monologues exhaust her. He admits rambling at her; their interests barely overlap, and he considers a fake family- friendly channel to hide personal videos. He questions the Japan meeting and considers pausing Skype; despite relief, he still wants her and fears losing £1,000. 12:30
30 March
WHY do girls do this His girlfriend’s silent treatment followed two months of midnight Skype, leaving her only 2–3 hours’ sleep nightly. Sleep deprivation impaired her work, strained patience with her daughter, and contributed to a minor rear-end accident. They reconciled; she forgave him, their Japan meeting remains planned, and a shorter call relieved his daily-Skype pressure. 7:25
31 March
I like being weird_different He describes himself as nonconformist, rejecting mainstream music, sports, fashion, cars, celebrities, clubs, hairstyles, clothing, traditions, religion, and rituals. He mocks marriage and holidays as artificial rituals, criticizes Korean and Japanese conformity, and values his mixed-race distinctiveness. His weak Feral Druid choice illustrates rejecting majority thinking; he also refuses advice, insisting on finding his own path. 6:11

04

April

15 videos
2 April
i'm shitting myself about going to Japan (i might delete this) Japan is imminent; his girlfriend replies coldly, slowly, and briefly, making him fear she is withdrawing. She says everything feels overwhelming and is going wrong, but remains vague, leaving him unsure whether he caused it. He cannot concentrate or draw, fears cancellation of their meeting, and decides to stop messaging temporarily to avoid worsening matters. 4:53
4 April
Meeting a fat, ugly girl on Tinder He travelled two hours to Margate after a Tinder match, trying local dating despite never meeting a British woman. The date was awkward; he found her far less attractive than pictured, disliked dinner, but enjoyed Ghost in the Shell. He regretted the trip and worried similar lack of attraction could complicate his upcoming two- week Japan visit. 5:00
5 April
I'M ONLY HUMAN Viewers reacted to his Tinder video with unusually many dislikes and unsubscribes, objecting to seeking women while he had a girlfriend. Feeling abandoned by her cold, minimal replies, he sought Tinder attention and arranged a meeting, later admitting he had nearly cheated. A 20-minute call explained her work, spring-break childcare, and family pressures; he apologised, kept the Japan trip, and planned videos. 7:06 Why I cheated on my Girlfriend - I'M ONLY HUMAN Viewers reacted to his Tinder video with unusually many dislikes and unsubscribes, objecting to seeking women while he had a girlfriend. Feeling abandoned by her cold, minimal replies, he sought Tinder attention and arranged a meeting, later admitting he had nearly cheated. A 20-minute call explained her work, spring-break childcare, and family pressures; he apologised, kept the Japan trip, and planned videos. 7:06
7 April
What I'm packing for Japan! While packing for Japan, he chooses a rucksack over a suitcase and brings filming gear, clothing, adapters, condoms, and chocolate. He carries a birth certificate obtained for marriage, while unused condoms and a Taiwan cost chart revive last year’s disappointment. Old Japan letters, photos, and Korean-study notes make him depressed; he doubts former guesthouse acquaintances remember him. 11:02
8 April
CUTTING DOWN A TREE He films his father cutting a gigantic tree, acting as lookout and preparing to retreat while helping guide its fall. After the rope snaps, the tree falls unexpectedly the wrong way, nearly crushing a small shed. He is nervous during the delayed cut, then finds the forward fall anticlimactic because the hoped-for sideways spectacle never occurs. 8:06
9 April
How I Learned Korean After his Japanese girlfriend relationship ended, Korean guesthouse residents adopted him; he dated a woman fifteen years older and felt accepted. Jealousy and communication needs motivated him to study Korean through Japanese; within months, he and his girlfriend spoke mainly Korean. Her departure triggered crying, isolation, and abandoning language school; they later reunited repeatedly, including four Korean visits lasting three months. 10:01
13 April
Flying to japan for love He finished his last night shift but remained undecided about quitting before flying to Japan. He worried an online girl might surprise him at the airport after learning his arrival details; she did not appear. His girlfriend picked him up after a thirty-minute wait; he reported things going well, hotel intimacy implied, and an aquarium planned. 8:26
15 April
I met my girlfriends daughter After a three-hour drive to Nagano, his girlfriend left him at McDonald’s while taking her nine- year-old daughter to juku. Meeting the daughter over dinner, he found her energetic, talkative, funny, and easy to engage, reversing his anxiety about children. He enjoyed Nagano’s open mountains, defended his immaturity against commenters, and planned an early Shinkansen trip to meet another friend. 12:36
16 April
Lunch with a cute japanese girl in yokohama He met a female Lang-8 friend in Yokohama for food, walking, and conversation, without discussing relationships or mentioning his girlfriend. He calls the meeting non-cheating, speculating his girlfriend either trusts him or feared asking whether the friend was female. He rested and edited at the hotel before castle cherry-blossom viewing with his girlfriend and daughter, bringing her a sketchpad. 13:03
18 April
Picking up japanese girls with my friend After three beers and a rum-and-Coke, he feels dizzy; a companion repeatedly refuses to repeat an on-camera bit. After four days in the hotel, he explores windy, foggy surroundings, gets lost, and finds the countryside oddly English-looking. He weighs returning next week against staying; Nagano’s isolation, nearly-$100 Tokyo trips, and her small home undermine moving in. 14:48
20 April
Parenting is TOUGH During a mountain-and-yakiniku outing, his girlfriend’s daughter resisted waking, cried, then abruptly became cheerful; he felt powerless as a non-parent. He questions whether a playful adult can discipline children, fearing leniency, bribery, tantrums, and awkwardness between mother and daughter. Hotel confinement makes him miss England; after drinking alone, he reinstalls Vainglory and quickly becomes absorbed for hours daily. 19:21
24 April
I'm Leaving Japan On his final full day, he planned to leave the hotel with his girlfriend for an airport hotel before departing Japan. He initially felt numb and questioned the relationship, but homesickness for England, cats, solitude, gaming, drawing, and his room dominated. After sushi and karaoke, airport hugs lasted ten minutes; home, he felt grief, unreality, fatigue, and uncertainty about seeing her or returning. 8:34
26 April
I don't think my GF's face is attractive After returning from Japan, he admits her face initially disappointed him, but emotional closeness and attraction strengthened. He values their quiet compatibility, describes sex, and plans to work, save, then rent nearby in Japan for summer. Her daughter reportedly looks forward to his return; he calls her future stepdaughter and promotes Patreon rewards to fund Japan. 10:13
28 April
I nearly got married to my ex-girlfriend's Japanese friend After reconnecting with his ex-girlfriend’s Japanese friend, he visited Oita; sexual intimacy quickly became a relationship and marriage proposal. Marriage paperwork and a birth certificate advanced, but the delayed embassy appointment prevented marriage before they broke up. Pain, chlamydia, sexual mismatch, repeated crying and conflict led to expulsion, one homeless night, reconciliation, renewed problems, and final separation. 13:03

05

May

23 videos
1 May
I may have impregnated my girlfriend After about 41 instances of unprotected sex, he worries his girlfriend may be pregnant but has no confirmation. He would accept fatherhood, marry her, move to Japan, and seek English-teaching work to support the family. He questions his fertility after earlier unprotected sex produced no pregnancies, citing uncertainty about contraception and testicular size. 5:33
3 May
Lets talk about my foreskin circumcision and dick cheese At 14, he discovered substantial white buildup beneath his foreskin after never retracting or cleaning it, then spent ten minutes washing. He condemns infant circumcision as barbaric and autonomy-violating, says hygiene depends on cleaning, and vows not to circumcise a son. He recalls painful childhood testicular injury and jokes about involuntary erections, while preferring a penis because menstruation and childbirth seem worse. 4:16
4 May
How the hate comments have affected me He says recent bizarre, personal videos were truthful; a carefree, unserious style became his defense against increasingly hostile comments. He reports mood swings: days of dark-cloud hopelessness alternate with sudden positivity; he wonders about mild bipolar disorder, denying suicidality. He will ban repeat abusers, moderate his presentation, and disclose a BetterHelp affiliate promotion: seven-day trial, then $35–$85 weekly. 7:35
5 May
Why I hate using condoms He says condoms feel like plastic, reduce intimacy, cost too much for frequent sex, and may contain carcinogenic compounds. He minimizes STI risk, citing nine relationships, one STD, prior chlamydia, testing, and willingness to use condoms when asked. He says pregnancy no longer worries him, welcomes eventual children, defends family support on petrol-station wages, and accepts househusband duties. 7:09
8 May
How much my 2 week romantic trip to Japan cost me He estimates the two-week April trip at nearly £3,000, including £1,117 airfare, roughly £1,060 hotels, £140 trains, £150 food, and a £25 magnet. A £70 Yokohama date ended with a hug and rejection; he accused the woman of using him, though whale meat made it worthwhile. He does not regret the trip’s sex, food, videos, or experiences, but regrets choosing girlfriend’s sushi over Tokyo drinks with his male friend. 10:23
9 May
Why I prefer older women He postpones a previously discussed decision and instead records a video defending his preference for older women. He values older women’s independence, jobs, housing, shared expenses and sexual experience; his girlfriend’s small home complicates cohabitation. He recounts leaving a 22-year-old virgin after repeated failed sex, calls women in their thirties ideal, and rejects sexless relationships. 10:09
10 May
My girlfriend took a pregnancy test After three weeks of condomless sex, his girlfriend’s test was negative; he questioned whether it was too early. She wanted the baby and felt disappointed, while he felt both relieved and disappointed by the negative result. He disclosed only $300–$400 monthly income, wanted visas, jobs, and finances settled first, and proposed condoms despite her reluctance. 7:35
12 May
I think my girlfriend is trying to emotionally blackmail me with her daughter He suspects exaggeration about her daughter’s affection encourages acceptance and a July Japan return, though he generally believes his girlfriend. A three-way phone call and playful encounters make him feel accepted; her daughter even checked the car for him, despite occasional grumpiness. He connects the insecurity to social anxiety and needing invitations; family noise also renews thoughts of moving out for privacy. 5:10
15 May
The twisted love triangle between Me, Persephone and Eurasian Writer Speaker accuses Persephone and Eurasian Writer of sustained harassment: hundreds of comments, parody videos, subreddit ridicule, and alleged false claims. He says Persephone’s ban followed alleged false claims about chlamydia, fake Reddit accounts, and filming his girlfriend’s daughter, not disagreement. He speculates Persephone wants romantic attention, portrays Eurasian Writer as jealous, and pleads for friendship and an end to mockery. 9:28
16 May
I shared nude videos with a fan of mine October’s $10 Patreon supporter from Texas became a Skype contact; conversations quickly turned sexual, with exchanged nude photos. During a lonely Bournemouth hotel stay, he reciprocated with masturbation videos, describing the personalized exchange as exciting and intimate. By December, she disappeared and deleted her pledge; he had developed romantic feelings but refused travel to Texas. 8:40 I shared nude videos with a fan October’s $10 Patreon supporter from Texas became a Skype contact; conversations quickly turned sexual, with exchanged nude photos. During a lonely Bournemouth hotel stay, he reciprocated with masturbation videos, describing the personalized exchange as exciting and intimate. By December, she disappeared and deleted her pledge; he had developed romantic feelings but refused travel to Texas. 8:40
17 May
I got a new camera - Canon 750D full review and unboxing He unboxes a secondhand Canon 750D, cuts off its neck strap, and finds the missing USB cable frustrating. Initial footage looks sharper than his phone; built-in audio is acceptable, but separate Blue Yeti recording requires tedious synchronization. He launches a gaming channel and merchandise website, while illustration commissions limit personal drawing and game preferences remain uncertain. 11:53
18 May
My Gay Experience With A Japanese Guy Depressed by failed romantic prospects in Japan, he became nocturnal, avoided people, and spent nights alone at guesthouse corridor computers. A bisexual friend continued touching after he said stop; loneliness led him to allow an uncomfortable park blowjob, but he refused intercourse. He found it unarousing but not shameful, rejects gay/bisexual labels, and defends consensual homosexuality despite expecting homophobic viewers to unsubscribe. 9:44 Why I let a Japanese guy give me a blowjob Depressed by failed romantic prospects in Japan, he became nocturnal, avoided people, and spent nights alone at guesthouse corridor computers. A bisexual friend continued touching after he said stop; loneliness led him to allow an uncomfortable park blowjob, but he refused intercourse. He found it unarousing but not shameful, rejects gay/bisexual labels, and defends consensual homosexuality despite expecting homophobic viewers to unsubscribe. 9:44
19 May
Are my videos fake He denies fabricating autobiographical videos, saying stories span roughly ten years and experiences across Japan, other Asian countries, and relationships. He attributes his shifty gaze to severe social anxiety and considers looking into the camera more to appear believable. He lacks photo evidence and lost Skype history, offering October 2016 Patreon messages while admitting screenshots could be fabricated. 7:34 Are my videos fake_ + proof of Texan girl nudes He denies fabricating autobiographical videos, saying stories span roughly ten years and experiences across Japan, other Asian countries, and relationships. He attributes his shifty gaze to severe social anxiety and considers looking into the camera more to appear believable. He lacks photo evidence and lost Skype history, offering October 2016 Patreon messages while admitting screenshots could be fabricated. 7:34
23 May
What's my favourite type of porn He describes a repetitive 10 p.m.–6 a.m. work cycle, sleeping until 1 p.m., then making videos, gaming, drawing, and translating. He calls YouTube self-therapy and discusses daily masturbation, mostly Japanese pornography, occasional black-women pornography, and one disturbing animal-related video. He prioritizes simple work, creative income, and mobility; marriage and fatherhood currently rank below an Asian, playful ideal partner. 15:32
24 May
Selling dirty used panties on Craigslist Internet returned next day after a technician miswired the connection; speeds rose only from 7–8 to 9–10 Mbps, leaving livestream plans uncertain. At 16–17, he sold sweat-worn women’s underwear on Craigslist while impersonating a Japanese exchange student, accepting only Amazon vouchers. Using a Taiwanese friend’s face, he forged verification photos; earnings peaked around £20 monthly before he stopped, deeming it unethical. 8:18
25 May
I don't have the guts to break up with my girlfriend After returning from Japan, he decides he should break up, feeling neither physical nor emotional attraction and little shared interest. She expects marriage, a baby, and his July return; guilt makes him hope she ends things first. He prefers his stress-free £8-per-hour job, savings, gaming, videos, and drawing, seeing Japan’s summer and rural location as burdens. 8:05
26 May
Critiquing this girls makeup He asks a mostly male audience about makeup after a drama video lowered his opinion of I Am Cyr. He calls Mina’s pencilled eyebrows, eyeliner, and overlined lipstick unnatural, while saying she is attractive and better with less makeup. He calls foundation and lipstick deceptive, then questions why women’s beautification is accepted while men’s body enhancement is mocked. 5:42 myers briggs personality test Retaking Myers-Briggs, he receives the same INFP-T Mediator result: 96% introverted, 82% intuitive, 51% feeling, turbulent identity. He endorses social avoidance, emotional instability, fantasy, creativity, privacy, and poor planning, while valuing empathy and avoiding confrontation. He links the profile to language ability and YouTube openness, criticizes petrol-station teamwork, and reports complaints about appearing minutes late. 33:27
29 May
Why am I getting so much HATE!!! He claims videos receive excessive dislikes because viewers hate or envy him, often without watching the content. He defends his likability through a comic list: non-driving, limited drinking, considerate behaviour, hygiene, and no known murders. He recounts paying £15–£20 for a customer’s beer and cigarettes, never repaid, then jokes about shameful disclosures and stolen chocolate. 5:55
30 May
My Japanese girlfriend left me for a White Guy At 18 in 2007, he dated Sayaka online nearly two years, Skyping 4–5 hours daily and learning Japanese rapidly. Sayaka left for a Czech man from an English club; devastated, he cried for weeks and confided in dad. He learned she married him and was pregnant; he says the breakup shaped distrust, bitterness, and pre-emptive cheating. 10:26

06

June

19 videos
1 June
Reasons why I like being mixed race He identifies as half British and Chinese-Malaysian, citing DNA results of 40% Han Chinese, 5% Southeast Asian, and possible Russian ancestry. He values looking distinctive and culturally different, but has little interest in Malaysia or learning Cantonese despite family access. He presents Chinese home cooking and Chinese New Year cash envelopes as the main practical benefits, contrasting them with bland English food. 6:26
3 June
I'm giving up on Asian women On 3 June, he declares he will pursue a non-Asian woman after eight years and seven failed relationships with Asian women. He attributes repeated failures to perceived preferences for Western appearance and English, while briefly questioning his own immaturity and impatience. He plans to cancel JapanCupid and delete Japanese-porn bookmarks, raises standards, accepts possible lifelong singlehood, and considers a £500 sex toy. 0:36 I'm giving up on Asian women On 3 June, he declares he will pursue a non-Asian woman after eight years and seven failed relationships with Asian women. He attributes repeated failures to perceived preferences for Western appearance and English, while briefly questioning his own immaturity and impatience. He plans to cancel JapanCupid and delete Japanese-porn bookmarks, raises standards, accepts possible lifelong singlehood, and considers a £500 sex toy. 4:34
5 June
I had a huge argument with my coworker He recounts a major petrol-station dispute after mishandling a £30 court-summons payment, failing to use the till’s key-charge procedure. The coworker’s blunt, patronizing style leaves him anxious, hiding mistakes and avoiding help; the confrontation brought shaking and rage. Without a Japan plan, he wants to be fired and says he will end the relationship, then block her. 10:48 my coworker is a twat He recounts a major petrol-station dispute after mishandling a £30 court-summons payment, failing to use the till’s key-charge procedure. The coworker’s blunt, patronizing style leaves him anxious, hiding mistakes and avoiding help; the confrontation brought shaking and rage. Without a Japan plan, he wants to be fired and says he will end the relationship, then block her. 10:49
8 June
20170608 - This is what my ideal girlfriend looks like He replaces dating with a Final Fantasy XIV catgirl, “Aineeda,” after deciding neither cute Asian nor non-Asian women are attainable. He designs her as pale, black-haired, shorter, larger-busted, minimally made-up, cat-eared, and conventionally cute, blending Asian aesthetics with feline features. Gameplay becomes sexualized voyeurism: he undresses her, inspects underwear and physics, runs naked, jokes about sexual assault, dies to a cactus, then resumes exploring. 19:14
9 June
I slept with a 10 year old boy At 10, Daniel arranged a sleepover with Seth, seeking exclusive attention amid jealousy of Seth’s close friend Charlotte. Years later, Seth remembered only a Sega videogame buddy; Daniel felt forgotten while intensely valuing their childhood friendship. Comparing Seth’s Oxford/IT success with his petrol-station job, Daniel feels stuck, questions racial influence, and alternates nostalgia with self-deprecating rationalization. 6:04 I slept with my best friend At 10, Daniel arranged a sleepover with Seth, seeking exclusive attention amid jealousy of Seth’s close friend Charlotte. Years later, Seth remembered only a Sega videogame buddy; Daniel felt forgotten while intensely valuing their childhood friendship. Comparing Seth’s Oxford/IT success with his petrol-station job, Daniel feels stuck, questions racial influence, and alternates nostalgia with self-deprecating rationalization. 6:04 My first sleepover At 10, Daniel arranged a sleepover with Seth, seeking exclusive attention amid jealousy of Seth’s close friend Charlotte. Years later, Seth remembered only a Sega videogame buddy; Daniel felt forgotten while intensely valuing their childhood friendship. Comparing Seth’s Oxford/IT success with his petrol-station job, Daniel feels stuck, questions racial influence, and alternates nostalgia with self-deprecating rationalization. 6:04
12 June
I got DOXED He upgrades smartphone audio using an OTG adapter and Blue Yeti, while withholding an incident after threats to remove videos. He links lifelong shyness to bullying and recalls his mother smashing electronics as punishment; camera solitude now enables YouTube disclosure. He chats sexually with Japanese women, may not meet one, and says sex outranks emotional connection; lifelong solitude feels acceptable. 10:15
15 June
The Korean girl that got away In Osaka in 2010, he cheated on Sayuri with an older Korean resident while falling for fellow guesthouse resident Yumi. During her absence, nightly walks, handholding, kissing, and play deepened intimacy; Yumi refused dating, citing a boyfriend and departure. After one sushi lunch and brief texts, Yumi vanished; he still regards their nights as painful, life-defining memories. 8:38
18 June
I broke up with my girlfriend He broke up via Skype text after blocking Line and planning silence; her sad voicemail made him explain rather than ignore her. He cites no attraction or shared interests; conversation felt impossible, sex became boring after two weeks, and little else remained. He admits sex blinded him to red flags; guilt over false promises and wasted time makes leaving emotionally difficult. 6:36
21 June
STOP assuming my gender! Two store customers misgender him as female, calling him “love”; his voice reveals their mistake. He resents “love,” “mate,” and “young man” as presumptuous or patronizing, despite liking feminine features. At 28, customers often mistake him for much younger; a 1999-born customer rejects his claim of being ten years older. 4:01
25 June
My first experience with 2 Japanese students In 2009, anime-focused Japanese learner Daniel hosted Saki, 17–18; he quickly wanted romance, but her shyness and boyfriend thwarted expectations. Saki’s visit included Japanese conversations, computer-room attraction, a London outing, and videos lost after his explicit YouTube channel was terminated. In 2011, Kumi stayed longer after snow canceled Germany plans; activities ended after he read her Skype criticism and withdrew. 11:08 My horrible home stay experience with a fat Japanese girl In 2009, anime-focused Japanese learner Daniel hosted Saki, 17–18; he quickly wanted romance, but her shyness and boyfriend thwarted expectations. Saki’s visit included Japanese conversations, computer-room attraction, a London outing, and videos lost after his explicit YouTube channel was terminated. In 2011, Kumi stayed longer after snow canceled Germany plans; activities ended after he read her Skype criticism and withdrew. 11:08 My horrible home stay experience with a Japanese girl In 2009, anime-focused Japanese learner Daniel hosted Saki, 17–18; he quickly wanted romance, but her shyness and boyfriend thwarted expectations. Saki’s visit included Japanese conversations, computer-room attraction, a London outing, and videos lost after his explicit YouTube channel was terminated. In 2011, Kumi stayed longer after snow canceled Germany plans; activities ended after he read her Skype criticism and withdrew. 11:08 my terrible japanese homestay experience In 2009, anime-focused Japanese learner Daniel hosted Saki, 17–18; he quickly wanted romance, but her shyness and boyfriend thwarted expectations. Saki’s visit included Japanese conversations, computer-room attraction, a London outing, and videos lost after his explicit YouTube channel was terminated. In 2011, Kumi stayed longer after snow canceled Germany plans; activities ended after he read her Skype criticism and withdrew. 11:08
27 June
Why I hated working in Japan In 2011, he worked 26 hours weekly at a convenience store and two Friday hours at an izakaya. Sex until 2 a.m., a 5 a.m. wake-up, long train commute, language difficulties, and repeated errors left him exhausted. After criticism from customers, coworkers, and the owner’s sister, he quit without notice; a later interview provoked furious rejection. 10:03
30 June
Why I haven't killed myself yet He describes daily depression, low self-esteem, purposelessness, low motivation, and recurring thoughts about why he continues. Sex, food, bodily pleasures, fear of death, and uncertainty about nothingness are cited as reasons he remains alive. He says low periods usually lift after sleep and remains optimistic that future happiness will make prolonged hardship worthwhile. 7:12

07

July

14 videos
3 July
I'm Okay (I promise) He clarifies he is not suicidal, has never seriously planned suicide, and would not act because he loves his family. Hundreds of supportive comments surprised him; he attributes the misunderstanding to a dramatic title, creepy music, and over-the-top delivery. His mother was hurt by parenting attacks; his father stopped watching, feeling the videos showed he had failed. 7:47
6 July
Chlamydia update - 3 years of pain After August 2014 sex in Japan, both partners tested positive for chlamydia; antibiotics cleared infection but not his joint pain. Inflammation once made walking, standing, sitting, coughing, or reaching the toilet extremely painful; symptoms persisted five months after returning. By July 2017 episodes were milder and occurred only two or three times yearly; shea-butter scent still evokes sexual arousal. 6:45
9 July
I met a Japanese girl on HelloTalk He presents HelloTalk as a free, real-time language-practice app, especially useful for finding Japanese speakers while living rurally in England. A 45-year-old married Japanese woman from Lang-8 introduced him to HelloTalk; jealousy escalated into sexual conversations and phone sex. He moved one HelloTalk connection off-app for porn, nude exchanges, and phone sex; two others offered meetings constrained by travel costs. 7:10
11 July
My boss found my YouTube channel Four weeks earlier, his boss confronted him after the owner's sister allegedly found his YouTube channel; he suspected a hater. She praised many videos but demanded removal of coworker/job rants and a store tour; he defended unrestricted speech. Asked whether he wanted firing, he declined to save money; after resigning, he says prank calls can stop. 7:28
12 July
Guy that prank called my work and doxxed me reveals himself Reddit user claimed repeated workplace prank calls, shared a recording the speaker confirmed, and allegedly contacted his boss about YouTube. Caller phoned nightly in varied accents, referenced workplace hiring, and claimed knowledge of his reputation and location. Already unemployed, he stopped leaving home, feared possible physical harm, questioned exposure inconsistencies, and thanked moderators and supporters. 7:35 Some prank called my work 7:35
14 July
Why I will never go back to school He rejects returning to school, preferring self-directed online learning, sufficient income, personal freedom, and work he genuinely enjoys. A computer-science course begun five years earlier ended after four weeks because he disliked classroom control, group tasks, and the subject. He credits self-teaching for Japanese, Korean, iPhone game-making, translation, and drawing, while leaving the petrol station days before Subway opens. 10:02
17 July
Man with a knife robbed us at work Four weeks earlier, days after his boss discovered YouTube, a masked man entered at 2 a.m., claimed a knife, and stole three vodkas and 5–6 cigarette packs. Daniel pocketed his phone, did not intervene, then pressed panic buttons; police arrived within 6–7 minutes with roughly five cars and ten officers. The suspect was caught forty minutes later after ditching vodka; forensics dusted fingerprints, and Daniel returned next night without feeling traumatised. 7:39
19 July
Thinking about paying for sex In Japan last year, he considered paid sex after failing to find a girlfriend, but travel, intimidating venues, and high cost deterred him. After researching soaplands, he compared consensual paid sex with massage and relationships, proposing anonymous app-based access without human interaction. He fears prostitution could become a weekly expense, comparing its unearned gratification with his past £500 World of Warcraft gold addiction. 9:07
20 July
2nd week of unemployment After nine months, he finished his final petrol-station shift, felt liberated, and entered unemployment after recent low energy. Translation work arrived rapidly, providing income from Japanese skills but proving stressful, time-consuming, and difficult with scientific or medical texts. Without work’s routine, he feels lost, keeps a 5 a.m. bedtime, struggles with productivity, and remains ambivalent about returning to Japan. 10:07
21 July
I translate Hentai He showcases his first hentai translation, involving rare Japanese vocabulary and a coercive belly-button fetish plot he finds disgusting, not arousing. He describes another simple, entertaining manga translation where rival women compete sexually for an unfaithful girlfriend’s boyfriend; YouTube censorship was necessary. He translates a bizarre customer concept involving an internal giant penis, daily ejaculation, and unclear terminology, then seeks more hentai work. 7:09
24 July
I'm on PornHub! Unemployed and seeking income, he investigated Chaturbate but abandoned livestreaming because slow internet would produce a slideshow. He created and verified a Pornhub channel, HIMR, but uploaded nothing; he may post drawing timelapses instead of explicit videos. He sets conditions for possible future collaborators: adult Asian-looking women, infection- tested, with ad revenue split 60/40 in his favour. 7:12
27 July
My first girlfriend - I couldn't get it in After Sayaka’s breakup, he dated Sayuri online and rushed to meet her in Japan two months later, travelling alone. He found her appearance, height, seriousness, limited availability, and Disneyland trip disappointing; repeated conflicts exposed immaturity and mismatched expectations. Sex repeatedly failed; he later had sex with a Korean housemate, while Sayuri blocked him amid suspected mutual infidelity. 14:16
31 July
Things I hated about working at the petrol station A month after quitting, he still has nightmares about returning and describes intense, unprecedented hatred toward his coworker. He resented mandatory toilet and break announcements, lateness complaints, coworker interference, and difficulty understanding colleagues’ English. Customers repeatedly asked about unavailable services and card minimums; he dismissed drive-offs and shoplifting, while proposing alcohol sales restrictions. 10:03

08

August

13 videos
1 August
I love the smell of ass Daniel identifies a sexual attraction to bodily smells, first noticed during 2014 sex with the Japanese girlfriend he nearly married. He prefers natural sweat and fecal odor, dislikes post-shower sex, and finds partners without body smell disappointing. An Iranian woman’s strong armpit odor intensified his attraction; she rejected his sexual request, and he jokes he was half-asleep. 4:38
2 August
How my World of Warcraft addiction ruined my life. From 2005, Guild Wars and Star Wars Galaxies escalated into compulsive play, costing longtime friendships and provoking family conflict. World of Warcraft became worse: he skipped meals, failed A-levels, quit school, and cried or punched walls when access disappeared. Anime displaced gaming, motivating Japanese study, drawing, solo travel, relationships, and later work-funded independence. 11:34
7 August
Am I an extrovert trapped in an introvert's body Daniel wants social connection but fears rejection, embarrassment, and strangers; solitude feels peaceful yet depressing, boring, and lonely. Japan feels safer than Britain; speaking Japanese is comforting, while guesthouses offer social contact he struggles to initiate. Following awkward encounters and last year's isolation, he plans months in a guesthouse, using practical-help requests as conversation starters. 7:22
10 August
Addicted to world of Warcraft during family holiday At 18, he joined his father’s expensive family skiing trip to France after weeks of artificial-slope lessons. At the addiction’s peak, he withdrew after one day, obsessing over WoW and refusing to ski. His father shouted publicly, threatening to delete WoW; he skied happily on the final day and later regretted hurting him. 4:23
11 August
I was seduced by a married Japanese woman At 24, he met a 32-year-old married Japanese woman on Mixi while lonely and disappointed by guesthouse social life. Dates escalated from karaoke kissing to unprotected sex and roughly 40 love-hotel nights over three months, paid by her. She disclosed depression, severe self-inflicted burns, suicidal statements, and a loveless marriage; he refused her £4,000 offer, seeing no future. 14:35
13 August
this is what my videos look like without editing A month after quitting, he feels liberated but still dreams of returning to the petrol station and seeing his coworker. He resents toilet and break-reporting rules, communication problems, lateness disputes, and a coworker repeatedly binning his “we’re open” sign. He calls drive-offs and shoplifting unavoidable, feels indifferent to losses, and proposes late- night alcohol restrictions, recalling Norway’s six-p.m. cutoff. 38:58
15 August
I'm dating a fan - My new Japanese girlfriend He introduces a 28-year-old Japanese girlfriend: childless, unmarried, nonsmoking, nonreligious, introverted, and a viewer who still likes him. They met on HelloTalk, moved sexual conversations to Line, exchanged nude photos/videos, had phone sex, and share openly sexual interest. They plan his Japan visit for late October or November, lasting months; he weighs guesthouse sociability against apartment privacy. 6:13
20 August
Why I will never move out of my parent's house At 28, he rejects moving out: privacy is sufficient, independence offers little, and living alone could worsen loneliness. Rent would consume Japan money and reduce mobility; he helps with groceries and chores, while parents neither pressure nor charge him. He would leave for partnership or Japanese marriage; his girlfriend cares for parents, they have not met, then he grills sandwiches. 10:21
22 August
Why I will never learn to drive At 28, he rejects driving because he has no friends or destinations, wants Japan, and imagines remote work eliminating travel. Former bicycle-riding friends adopted mopeds, cars, tattoos, and weightlifting; he felt betrayed, left behind by adulthood, and cried filming. He predicts automation and driverless vehicles will replace driving, criticizes cars’ pollution, then humorously cooks ramen with frozen vegetables. 8:17
24 August
Should men shave their pubic hair He rejects shaving after severe itchy regrowth; two hours of plucking stayed smooth but caused pain and left mattress cleanup. He favors trimming, compares body hair with beards as appearance-masking, and asks whether blond people have blond pubic hair. He announces Friday’s 4 PM GMT livestream, with his girlfriend in chat and rude viewers banned, then cooks Pot Noodle. 5:34
25 August
Live stream with my girlfriend and Xiaorishu Daniel’s three-hour livestream introduced girlfriend Tommy, featured repeated chat moderation, and reaffirmed their October Japan meeting and three-month stay. He said he had quit work, lived with parents, slept roughly 2–3 a.m.–noon, and weighed 44 kilograms at 174 centimetres. Provocative sex-and-race discussion prompted self-corrections and timeouts; Tommy grew jealous of Xiao and apparently left or fell asleep. 3:16:15
28 August
My thoughts on Welcome to the N.H.K Welcome to the NHK remains his only recurring anime; Sato mirrors his isolation, unemployment, weak motivation, and addictive tendencies. The series motivated Japanese study, work, and quitting World of Warcraft; its feared future of dependency now resembles his present. After six Japan trips, he rejects idealized anime-Japan expectations but still seeks a close friend, romantic partner, and stimulating city life. 10:52
30 August
please don't share my personal info - I'm deleting facebook He deactivated Facebook after viewers found and circulated his real profile, spending hours saving photos while many were ultimately lost. A prank caller posted his family’s names, jobs, address, and a house photo on Reddit; his mother considered deleting Facebook too. He acknowledged exposing street signs and forgotten accounts, feared stalking or identity theft, and asked viewers not to share his details. 10:24

09

September

20 videos
1 September
How hayfever ruined my childhood Severe childhood hay fever caused constant sneezing, nosebleeds, itchy eyes, yellow discharge, exhaustion, and sleeping through school afternoons. Symptoms made outdoor play unbearable; teased at school, he isolated in his room playing Sega games while peers socialized. After sixteen, symptoms eased and are minimal, absent abroad; he promotes girlfriend Tomo L’s channel and tours his cluttered bedroom. 11:00
3 September
A Japanese woman used me to learn English 10:55
4 September
Leave my girlfriend alone! Life update #2 Girlfriend’s new channel is going well, but hateful comments upset her; he insists attacks will strengthen their relationship. Stalker-related discussions improve communication with his previously silent father; his mother deletes Facebook after fearing retaliation. He has not drawn for nearly four weeks, feeling burned out; his 18-year-old three-legged cat is incontinent, emaciated, and nearing death. 10:16
7 September
ASMR cooking - How to make Japanese Tonkatsu He attempts tonkatsu with pork-belly slices instead of requested pork chops, homemade toast breadcrumbs, and no working blender. He coats the flattened pork in flour, egg mixed with light soy sauce, and breadcrumbs before pan-frying it. The meat remains pink and undercooked, so he refrys it with soy sauce and sesame oil, finding it ultimately pretty good. 10:21
9 September
A mentally ill person deleted our Discord server The few-hundred-member Discord server disappeared after its creator, whom Daniel identifies as a hostile former commenter, admitted deleting it. He interprets insults, Steam friendship reversals, and deletion as attention-seeking, admitting his lengthy negative-comment replies may encourage harassment. A replacement Discord appeared; removing rock music reportedly fixed mobile playback problems on his girlfriend’s videos, and he bought yen for Japan. 10:02
10 September
Sunday stream -) Repeated Sunday internet failures frustrated him; his 7 Mbps/1.5 Mbps connection complicates streaming before next month’s Japan trip. He created a Twitch account and considered gaming, IRL, or private streams with Tomoko, but creative enthusiasm repeatedly ends in burnout. N2 was his biggest achievement; N1 failed after reading-time panic. He reports weak ASMR/ nonsexual reach and sharply variable YouTube earnings. 1:53:24
11 September
Bullied in school Following his grandfather’s death and a house move, he changed schools, lost longtime friends, and spent roughly six months isolated. Matthew Glasscock became an abusive companion, punching, headlocking, tripping, sabotaging work, and making racist taunts for years. Jay and Rob became close through gaming, Warhammer, skateboarding, and music, then changed and drifted away after gaining driving licences. 11:07
14 September
I like sniffing panties At 14, he secretly searched visiting relatives’ guest-room laundry, sniffed a cousin’s girlfriend’s used underwear, masturbated, and hid the evidence. Years later, he wore, photographed himself in, and ejaculated into a visiting female cousin’s underwear, defending attraction despite their relation. During four Taiwan weeks, he repeatedly handled and ejaculated onto suspected friend’s underwear from shared laundry; he planned to seek Japan’s rumored vending machines. 10:14
15 September
I used to be a woman He failed his first 2014 South Korea attempt, then restarted in July 2015 with vlogs, technology, coding, and iPhone-game tutorials. Travel vlogging in Paris, Norway, Korea, and Japan became stressful; Japan and Taiwan isolation produced depression, breakdown, and sexual-frustration videos. After Taiwan, he embraced sexual, depressive, cynical content; regular commenters disappeared, and the transcript cuts off introducing a January Reddit turning point. 10:05
16 September
How R hapas affected me mentally - part 2 of the evolution of my YouTube channel In January, r/Hapas linked his racism video, then mocked his family and appearance; repeated harassment became a channel-wide conflict. Provocative but truthful videos turned harassment into growth: 600–700 subscribers, 2,000- plus views each, and revenue rising from $15 to $100. After two years and 4,500 subscribers, George Trombly and GimmeABreakMan promoted him; an Elliot Rodger video exceeded 50,000 views, but metrics declined. 13:51
17 September
Someone reported me for sending dic pics He suspects LINE silently restricted messaging after he sent unsolicited penis photos and masturbation videos to former female contacts. Deleting LINE left his number blocked; he considers a cheap SIM, losing contact with girlfriend, ex, and online acquaintances. He argues women overreact to unsolicited dick pics, citing a Tinder date who eventually agreed to hotel sex after refusing. 10:28 STOP SENDING MY GIRLFRIEND DICKPICS! He suspects LINE silently restricted messaging after he sent unsolicited penis photos and masturbation videos to former female contacts. Deleting LINE left his number blocked; he considers a cheap SIM, losing contact with girlfriend, ex, and online acquaintances. He argues women overreact to unsolicited dick pics, citing a Tinder date who eventually agreed to hotel sex after refusing. 10:28
20 September
HelloTalk banned me A sexual hypothetical was removed with a warning; he suspected HelloTalk invisibly muted later Moments posts after engagement fell to zero. He deliberately escalated to sexual comments and penis images sent to former contacts; HelloTalk banned him the next day, fulfilling his stated goal. After reinstalling the app to bypass its device block, he recreated the account with the same name and photo, rebuilding from seven followers. 10:17
22 September
First day in Japan - I feel so alone After a rough, sleepless flight, he returned to Japan after seven years, finalized the contract, and found the large guesthouse empty. He bought towels, food, beer, and toiletries; mosquito bites swelled and bled, while alcohol left him tipsy, exhausted, and headachy. Feeling lonely after years with his parents, he avoided conversation, yet planned to use communal spaces and livestreaming to connect. 13:24 Japan adventure 2017 - Day 1 After a rough, sleepless flight, he returned to Japan after seven years, finalized the contract, and found the large guesthouse empty. He bought towels, food, beer, and toiletries; mosquito bites swelled and bled, while alcohol left him tipsy, exhausted, and headachy. Feeling lonely after years with his parents, he avoided conversation, yet planned to use communal spaces and livestreaming to connect. 13:24
24 September
Hot Japanese girl tried to take advantage of me today - Japan vlog #2 A guest-house acquaintance invited him to lunch, then left him in an apartment with three women and two Japanese men. He suspected an Amway product demonstration; an older woman appeared to recruit members, and the two men seemed deceived. He fabricated a meeting excuse, paid ¥500 for the food, and fled; afterward he filmed a graveyard and nearby streets. 12:30
26 September
This is why you shouldn’t come to Japan On day three, he finds the guesthouse lonely: few residents socialize, phones dominate, and it contrasts sharply with seven years ago. He admits socializing mainly serves possible sex; without perceived interest, he loses motivation, preferring YouTube, games, pornography, and isolation. He rejects career pressure, prioritizing freedom over money or respect, and plans to repeat his routine until meeting girlfriend in October. 24:23
27 September
Midnight stroll in Japan During a two-hour midnight livestream, he wandered Japan’s streets, got lost repeatedly, drank one 5% beverage, and relied on GPS. A friendly Canadian newcomer described a two-year Japanese course costing C$18,000, prompting him to imagine staying in Japan longer. He insisted his online girlfriend is genuine and reaffirmed their October meeting, despite distance and her need for parental permission. 2:06:52
29 September
Live Stream In JAPAN - Night Life Nighttime Japan livestreaming repeatedly failed: Pocket Wi-Fi cost about £60 monthly but delivered roughly 5–6 Mbps upload, not 75. He toured crowded nightlife districts, filming shops, karaoke, sex businesses and street scenes, sexualising strangers while defending his not-yet-met girlfriend. Loneliness intensified: he felt depressed, invisible, hungry and uninvited, wavering between guesthouse acquaintances’ sports-centre outing and returning home. 1:19:24 Where The FWuk Am I Microphone and Wi-Fi failures, sparse attendance, and battery drain disrupted livestream; store music previously blocked his stream in six countries. From a secret location in Japan, he feared stalking, suffered diarrhea, sought clothing and food, and eventually found the station. He said he would meet his online girlfriend Tomoko in a week, going straight to a hotel instead of dating. 1:27:05

10

October

70 videos
1 October
Do I regret coming to Japan Life in Japan update #2 After just over a week in Japan, he feels no regret, but finds the guesthouse boring, segregated, and excluding. He bonds with a Canadian over shared English-language interests; a birthday party leaves them isolated among Japanese and Korean groups. Disappointed by £60/month Pocket Wi-Fi, he rents a faster seven-day unit and says relationship failure would not ruin Japan. 20:00 Do I regret coming to Japan? Life in Japan update #2 After just over a week in Japan, he feels no regret, but finds the guesthouse boring, segregated, and excluding. He bonds with a Canadian over shared English-language interests; a birthday party leaves them isolated among Japanese and Korean groups. Disappointed by £60/month Pocket Wi-Fi, he rents a faster seven-day unit and says relationship failure would not ruin Japan. 20:00
2 October
Rainy Day In Japan In rainy Japan, he tested new pocket Wi‑Fi while walking for hours, used 1.5GB, and repeatedly looped back. He avoided restaurants because of social anxiety, bought convenience-store food, and described loneliness, depression, and feeling ignored at the guesthouse. He reported $500–$600 monthly YouTube income and about $10,000 savings, but worried his father’s retirement could end Japan trips. 4:31:54
3 October
Going to Dennys in Japan ALONE - Japan Vlog He overcame restaurant anxiety by entering Denny’s alone and ordering a ¥900 burger plus ¥400 beer during an Osaka livestream. He called the meal expensive and average, remained hungry, bought discounted supermarket food, and used roughly 5GB of livestream data. The guesthouse felt empty and alienating versus seven years earlier; only the Canadian seemed approachable, while Tomoko’s meeting remained imminent. 7:50:12
5 October
My girlfriend doesn't want to meet me yet... Tomoko was not ready after his September schedule change, so their planned October meeting remained; they expect to meet within days. The Osaka guesthouse disappointed him: mostly unsocial Japanese workers, little connection, and social anxiety left the Canadian resident his main exception. He enjoys livestreaming’s interaction and donations, but returns expensive high-speed Wi‑Fi tomorrow after eight hours consumed nearly 4GB of 30GB. 15:41
7 October
Meeting my online girlfriend for the first time in JAPAN On 7 October, he met Tomoko and immediately felt no attraction, despite finding her kind and easy to be around. He disclosed wanting sex without a relationship; she agreed, they had sex, took photos, walked around, then hugged and parted. He plans to remain in Japan, date others, make guesthouse friends, livestream, and reconsider his plans instead of going home. 14:41 She wasnt what i expected... On 7 October, he met Tomoko and immediately felt no attraction, despite finding her kind and easy to be around. He disclosed wanting sex without a relationship; she agreed, they had sex, took photos, walked around, then hugged and parted. He plans to remain in Japan, date others, make guesthouse friends, livestream, and reconsider his plans instead of going home. 14:41
8 October
She lied to me this whole time... Tomoko admitted she is 41, not 28, after claiming the younger age since June and apologizing for deceiving him. He says her real-life appearance and manner contradicted her flattering photos; anger centers on being deceived, not her age. They had condomless sex three times after her period; pregnancy remains possible, and she said she would raise any baby alone. 14:18
10 October
I hooked up with an American girl yesterday... Before arriving in Japan, he paid for Tinder Plus and arranged backup dates; after Tomoko, he began meeting several women. On October 9, he met a 24-year-old half-Japanese American woman, had consensual sex, and lost his erection with a condom. Without a condom, arousal returned and he ejaculated externally; fearing STI risk, he rejected her and planned a 36-year-old date. 12:49
11 October
Meeting married women in Japan on Tinder Three married Japanese women matched him on Tinder; all initially wanted companionship, but one disappeared and two withdrew over marriage, children, distance, and complications. He links the reversals to sexual directness—love hotels, hookups, and his Amway anecdote— believing these made him seem like a playboy. He seeks a taboo affair with a married mother, denies being a homewrecker, and anticipates an overnight stay with another woman he kissed. 15:57
13 October
I have a new girlfriend -) He presents a new 36-year-old Japanese girlfriend: divorced, childless, confident, and an Osaka salesperson; they have met twice. They had unprotected sex three times overnight, then more sex and affectionate conversation; he calls her his best match yet. They plan Hiroshima; he may reduce Tinder, conceal YouTube, and worries frequent sex is dulling desire and erections. 14:11 why am I getting so much HATE! Daniel defended consensual sex with Tomoko and multiple women, acknowledged cheating on an unmet online girlfriend, and rejected channel-ban threats. He explained online pre-meeting reduces social anxiety, but first encounters, conversation, noisy venues, trains, and possible hearing difficulty remain stressful. He framed Japan Tinder hookups as recovering missed adolescence, delaying adulthood; Tomoko, he said, knew his videos exposed relationships. 14:58
14 October
5k Subscriber Celebration Live Stream Streaming in Japan, he buys a burger, drink, and ice cream; poor Wi-Fi frustrates him, though viewers briefly exceed 100. He describes a 36-year-old Japanese woman as his new girlfriend after ten days, including sex and planned Hiroshima travel. He recounts kissing a woman after her refusal and argues that non-resistance made it consensual, while worrying sexual content is age-restricted. 2:38:48
15 October
I Want to Know What Love Is He says only his first online breakup caused profound grief; current relationships feel physically satisfying but emotionally detached, and he wants love. He plans another overnight with his girlfriend but remains tense; her recent divorce, attributed to erectile problems and debt, raises rebound concerns. He decides to avoid rushing, get to know her, and reports livestream growth to 130 viewers despite unreliable pocket Wi-Fi. 13:06
16 October
Guesthouse and Mukbang Japan live stream! During a secret guesthouse livestream, he spies on residents, mocks them, and struggles to initiate conversations despite wanting connection. Donations fund fried chicken and alcohol; he walks to a park, then returns, juggling Wi-Fi, battery, hunger, and monetization. He describes intimacy with his current girlfriend, plans a Hiroshima overnight trip, and discusses contraception, fertility, and sexual fantasies. 5:12:27 My YouTube channel is in danger. Around 30 videos received yellow-dollar demonetization or age restrictions; he therefore placed four-to-five ads on each video before ads disappeared. Manual reviews restored several videos, including camera content, reinforcing his belief that automated speech detection and hostile reports caused errors. He will discuss cereal less, asks viewers to watch ads or donate via Patreon/PayPal, and provides backup accounts if YouTube disappears. 12:11
17 October
Dis got ads 0:06 I've been banned from live streaming - FOLLOW ME ON TWITCH -( YouTube struck January’s “Everyone Hates Me” video after he cut a sausage and used ketchup as fake blood. The strike temporarily removed livestreaming from his main channel; two more strikes could terminate it, while an appeal is pending. He leans toward Twitch (DanielHIMR) over his 200-subscriber gaming channel, requiring 1,000 subscribers for Super Chats; new pocket Wi-Fi arrives. 3:09 My response to Gimmeabreakman's video about me He defends his subtle humor but acknowledges condomless Tinder sex and accepts GimmeABreakMan’s criticisms of his sexual obsession as valid. He felt embarrassed and questioned his character; he respects GimmeABreakMan as a father figure, contrasting that directness with distance from his own father. He vows to ignore future married women on Tinder, thanks donors and patrons, and attributes recent demonetization to YouTube’s overly sensitive automated system. 15:18
18 October
danielhimrs_mobile_stream (1) 0:30 danielhimrs_mobile_stream 0:35 I feel like everything i do in life fails Depressed after YouTube’s sausage-and-ketchup violence strike removed livestreaming until January; 5–7 recent demonetizations regained monetization after manual review. Rain, expected typhoon, and his partner’s period led them to cancel Hiroshima hotels and postpone the trip until next month. He cites failures in businesses, surveys, Japan, coding, webcomics, and relationships, ending through bans, boredom, mistakes, or uncontrollable events. 12:43 I had lunch with a beautiful japanese woman today October 18: he met Tinder acquaintance “Fungal Girl” post-breakup for lunch, karaoke, and coffee; she mainly wanted English practice. She said she had no romantic feelings; no intimacy occurred, yet he considered free lodging despite infection and eviction risks. He defended his non-tourist channel style, reported over 100 Twitch followers, and promoted cross-platform backups amid fears of further strikes. 17:11
19 October
6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION (1) 0:30 6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION (10) 0:30 6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION (11) 0:30 6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION (2) 0:29 6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION (3) 0:30 6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION (4) 0:29 6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION (5) 0:30 6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION (6) 0:30 6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION (7) 0:30 6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION (8) 0:30 6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION (9) 0:23 6000_SUBS_CELEBRATION 0:30
20 October
Japan_live_stream_nightlife (1) 0:30 Japan_live_stream_nightlife (2) 0:30 Japan_live_stream_nightlife (3) 0:10 Japan_live_stream_nightlife 0:31 live_stream_with_Canadian_guy (1) 0:30 live_stream_with_Canadian_guy (2) 0:37 live_stream_with_Canadian_guy (3) 0:36 live_stream_with_Canadian_guy (4) 0:30 live_stream_with_Canadian_guy 0:31
21 October
might_get_kicked_out_of_the_guesthouse_ (1) 0:31 might_get_kicked_out_of_the_guesthouse_ (2) 0:30 might_get_kicked_out_of_the_guesthouse_ (3) 0:28 might_get_kicked_out_of_the_guesthouse_ 0:30 I got a warning about my youtube channel... Guesthouse manager relayed an anonymous complaint about filming; Daniel agreed to stop filming inside to preserve his accommodation. He suspects an online hater, citing accidental doxxing, and predicts a second complaint could trigger eviction; no source was confirmed. Emotionally detached from his girlfriend and dissatisfied with the guesthouse, he considers Airbnb or moving cities; monetization returned and Twitch is succeeding. 11:50
24 October
My Girlfriend is still using Tinder... During the typhoon, he stayed several nights at her home; trains and shops closed amid flooding and fallen trees. A Tinder notification revealed a new match during Game of Thrones; neither addressed it, leaving him uncertain about her activity. He questions her rapid post-divorce relationship, admits limited emotional attachment, prefers guesthouse freedom, and remains undecided about confrontation. 11:19
25 October
I feel lonely and desperate He prepared for a Japan Cupid acquaintance’s planned overnight movie visit by cleaning and spending about $40 on bedding and a towel. She cancelled for work and a 4 a.m. shift, suggesting Friday; he doubts it will happen and hides his anger. He says loneliness requires intimacy, describes his girlfriend relationship as boring with mediocre sex, and links it to infidelity. 10:49
26 October
drinking_japanese_sake_with_James (1) 0:30 drinking_japanese_sake_with_James 0:37 feeling_good_ (1) 0:20 feeling_good_ (2) 0:30 feeling_good_ 0:30 GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! YouTube removed his community strike after reviewing the sausage-cutting skit, age- restricting it instead; livestreaming was restored. He made nearly 100 older videos private and now prefers Twitch, citing 270 followers, better quality, PayPal donations, and diversified income. After yesterday’s cancellation depressed him, twelve hours’ sleep improved his mood; he expects the woman to visit Friday and feels optimistic. 12:56
27 October
I CHEATED ON MY GIRLFRIEND -( He met a woman at his guesthouse, drank wine, watched a film, and had sex twice, calling the experience average. Afterward, embarrassed and craving solitude, he rejected seeing her again and said his girlfriend was better in nearly every way. He called the cheating purely physical, resolved to treat his girlfriend better, and reported Twitch affiliate status after roughly one week. 10:39
28 October
GOT_MY_SUB_BUTTON (1) 0:36 GOT_MY_SUB_BUTTON (2) 0:32 GOT_MY_SUB_BUTTON (3) 0:25 GOT_MY_SUB_BUTTON (4) 0:30 GOT_MY_SUB_BUTTON (5) 0:36 GOT_MY_SUB_BUTTON 0:30
30 October
Exploring_Japan_in_the_night (1) 0:30 Exploring_Japan_in_the_night (2) 0:37 Exploring_Japan_in_the_night (3) 0:30 Exploring_Japan_in_the_night 0:31 Japanese_McDonalds_live_mukbang 0:30
31 October
Japanese women cheat ALL the time After the Halloween livestream, two nights with his girlfriend included five sexual encounters; shared time made him feel increasingly attached. He recounted friends’ alleged Tinder infidelity, reassured his girlfriend he had quit Tinder, then generalized that Japanese women cheat frequently. Guesthouse isolation grows: he considers moving out; Tinder follow-up, a HelloTalk marriage- visa proposal, and ten-days-overdue rent remain unresolved. 13:37

11

November

37 videos
1 November
should_I_stay_or_should_I_go 0:30
2 November
I think I infected my girlfriend... After their weekend together, both developed warmth and coughing; she briefly felt feverish and dizzy, then said she was recovering. Sexual talk revealed strong mutual libido; she plans the pill, and they discussed frequent sex and joining her future school. Sunday plans were meeting him alone after her friend; he also paid rent twelve days late, fearing the manager. 11:38
3 November
Karaoke_with_daniel 0:37 motorbike 0:14
4 November
going_for_sushi_in_Japan_ (1) 0:30 going_for_sushi_in_Japan_ 0:36 Visiting_a_Temple_in_Japan 0:31 I have a penile yeast infection After recent unprotected sex, he develops an itchy foreskin with cheesy, foul-smelling residue, suspects yeast infection, and applies probiotic yogurt. Symptoms partly improve but persist; he worries about chlamydia or HIV, recognizes repeatedly avoiding condoms, and considers using them with future partners. Guesthouse loneliness deepens; girlfriend weekends become relief, while he defends an unfiltered diary despite hate and admits cheating may recur. 13:46
5 November
It's getting worse... He rejects hygiene criticism, insisting he washes daily and blaming his suspected penile yeast infection on unprotected sex with a partner. Yogurt stopped symptoms briefly; after severe itching and scratching, he bought Japanese athlete’s-foot antifungal cream for about $40 and applied it. The cream stung, then caused cooling and numbness; worried about erections, he plans washing it off before visiting his girlfriend that night. 10:08
6 November
Going on a date with my boyfriend! Rainy livestream date with the French guy: Daniel shops Halloween costumes, while Sato donates $5 for an umbrella. He considers condoms but complains they cost 800 yen for three, saying this discourages safer sex. He wears a Minion costume, drinks 13% wine, feels dizzy, and recounts Midori and four Korea trips to acquaintances. 13:29
7 November
Japan_life_update (1) 0:29 Japan_life_update (2) 0:30 Japan_life_update (3) 0:36 Japan_life_update (4) 0:10 Japan_life_update (5) 0:41 Japan_life_update 0:36 My girlfriend wants me to move in with her She invited him to move in within weeks, splitting roughly $200 rent; he plans leaving the disappointing guesthouse soon. Antifungal cream improved penile itching and longstanding white spots; he speculates fungal growth but remains uncertain about the infection’s source. Missing Tinder messages and her Meetup social life fuel cheating fears; he admits snooping urges and pre-emptive cheating. 15:43
10 November
Japan_graveyard (1) 0:36 Japan_graveyard (2) 0:32 Japan_graveyard (3) 0:27 Japan_graveyard 0:30 Erectile Dysfunction at 28 At 28, he initially could not become erect, but had successful morning sex; he suspects antifungal cream, anxiety, or attraction. A Happn alert triggered infidelity fears; after confronting her, he accepted that old app activity caused it and felt reassured. He considers deleting Tinder as they plan cohabitation after four weeks; she said “I love you” and is planning Hiroshima. 10:37
11 November
JAPANESE_GRAVEYARD_AT_NIGHT_ 0:30
12 November
JAPANESE_park_AT_NIGHT_ 0:36 I love sushi in Japan (look at thumbnail) He rejects racism accusations, distinguishing sexual non-attraction from hatred and defending highly selective racial dating preferences. He says Japanese women remain his preference because he values Japan and wants to use four years of Japanese study. He admits he has never dated non-Japanese women, cannot know the comparison, then jokingly invites volunteers to test it. 10:04
13 November
daily_Japan_life_update_live_stream_in_japan (1) 0:36 daily_Japan_life_update_live_stream_in_japan (2) 0:30 daily_Japan_life_update_live_stream_in_japan 0:30
15 November
Approach Anxiety - I tried Yesterday, he livestreamed three hours in a Japanese city centre, intending to ask strangers for directions, but approached nobody. He feared being ignored or disturbing people more than rejection, made excuses, and alcohol brought tiredness and depression. A mistaken-identity train-station encounter remains a vivid trigger; he now requests clothing colours or photos before meetings. 11:58
16 November
Trip to Hiroshima and Miyajima with my girlfriend This extremely short travel fragment records picture-taking, a cute woman, and scenery described as beautiful. The speaker finds the townscape more Taiwanese than Japanese and says it does not feel very Japanese. Food remarks mention wanting meat rather than something sweet; garbled comments also mention a Ferris wheel and tides. 13:54
17 November
japanese_train_station_live 0:36
18 November
Moving into my girlfriend's apartment He is staying at his girlfriend’s apartment while she works until 9 p.m., appreciating solitude and resisting constant togetherness. He defends the Hiroshima/Miyajima vlog, citing rear-camera quality and withholding his girlfriend’s face to prevent harassment. He plans to return to the guesthouse, clean and pack, and recover an approximately $200 deposit before fully settling in. 11:03 Reading idiotic comments on my videos He reads hostile comments, defending beauty-filter disclosure, girlfriend privacy, and his claim that he treats partners well. He rejects STD accusations, saying an ex gave him chlamydia and denying transmission; he says his yeast infection resolved. In Japan he pays half the rent and food, does chores, prefers staying, and faces tourist-visa limits; views are declining. 32:38
20 November
How to find a Japanese girlfriend He claims nine Japanese girlfriends over seven years and says learning Japanese through anime and daily Skype was foundational. He recommends Tinder Plus, strong naturally lit photos, mass-swiping, boosts, then moving promising matches to LINE and meeting soon. He prefers shopping dates, discourages first-date touching, but advocates overtly pervy messaging to test sexual interest quickly. 13:23
22 November
It’s time to leave Checked out of JF Plaza Osaka, recovered ¥20,000 deposit, and paid ¥500 for unwashed bedsheets; he found the manager rude. He revisited neighborhood filming spots, describing the guesthouse as a hollow version of seven-year-old memories marked by loneliness and disappointment. He plans to spend remaining Japan weeks with his girlfriend, possibly visit South Korea, and avoid guesthouses permanently. 14:37
29 November
How I travel to Japan and Asia when I'm unemployed and have no job He describes seven years cycling through Japan, Korea, Taiwan, and England, funded mainly by nine months’ petrol-station savings. He attributes affordability to rent-free parental housing, minimal social spending, online income experiments, and discounted supermarket food. He reports spending roughly $4–$5 daily on food and recommends guesthouses, cooking, and using a girlfriend’s home to avoid rent. 10:01
30 November
I miss the guesthouse and the Canadian guy Weeks after leaving the guesthouse, Daniel misses its total freedom: midnight walks, livestreams, McDonald’s trips, spacious streets, and the park. He contrasts guesthouse loneliness with cherished occasional connections, especially the Japanese girl and Canadian man, while the apartment offers privacy. With no friends beyond his girlfriend, he feels trapped and unable to leave the apartment for walks or livestreams. 10:04

12

December

14 videos
1 December
I'M STAYING IN JAPAN! He secured a 180-day visa extension in ten minutes for ¥4,000, without interview or evidence, avoiding Korea travel costs. A Canadian viewer recognized him at immigration, marking his first recognition; excitement mixed with fears of harassment and exposure. He considered telling his girlfriend about YouTube, hiding controversial videos, and accepted a breakup, prioritizing the channel over relationships. 10:01
4 December
Why is life so boring He visited a Japanese shopping center with his girlfriend and bought a ¥1,000 mirror after both broke theirs by stepping on them. He reports intense, unexplained boredom and low mood, denying suicidal feelings; YouTube, games, and meals are his main remaining pleasures. Photography, drawing, coding, and piano held him for months before abandonment; livestreaming and YouTube now feel similarly burned out. 10:01
5 December
Do I look white He resents Asian people saying he looks white, connecting those comments to five–six years of childhood bullying for looking Asian. As a half-Asian, half-white man, he feels misclassified in England and Asia, yet says Japan feels more like home. He values Asian compliments and dating attention, while still wishing for straighter hair, smaller nose, and more Asian-looking features. 10:02
9 December
This is the most ANNOYING thing about my girlfriend Before Episode VIII next week, he urges his girlfriend, busy with two jobs, to rent Episode VII; she repeatedly forgets. During Return of the Jedi, she missed the opening, used her phone, and laughed at the film’s effects and creatures. He considered seeing Episode VIII alone, feeling insulted; solo viewing avoids worrying whether others enjoy or ridicule films. 10:10
12 December
THIS is why Japanese women love me He claims Japanese women find his feminine, quiet appearance attractive, and says 80% of his past relationships were Japanese. He contrasts Japanese and Western preferences, asserting macho, loud, dominant men intimidate women while gentle, dorky, reserved men are preferred. After seven Japan trips and about two years living there, he rejects changing his appearance and pivots to discussing fashion. 10:02
13 December
Japanese apartment tour - how much does rent cost He tours the one-room apartment shared with his girlfriend: rent is ¥46,000 monthly, with his half costing ¥23,000. Electricity is extra and pricier in winter; the main room fits a double bed, TV, table, shelves, closet, and tree. His girlfriend makes breakfast daily; compact facilities include a kitchen, toilet, entrance, shower room, and sticking drain and shower valve. 10:06
18 December
Why Star Wars - The Last Jedi SUCKED balls Watching The Last Jedi with his girlfriend, he calls it the worst Star Wars film, praising only the opening battle. He makes explicitly racist, appearance-based criticisms of Rose and casting, portraying inclusion as tokenism and rejecting her sudden kiss with Finn. He condemns Leia’s space survival, Luke’s hologram duel with Kylo Ren, and Episode IX’s implied focus on newer heroes. 10:09
20 December
Talking_to_strangers_challenge_in_Japan 0:36
21 December
My girlfriend knows about my YouTube channel After a close day and her Christmas iPad Smart Keyboard gift, he told his girlfriend about his YouTube channel. She seemed concerned about videos mentioning her and intends to search the channel despite his request for privacy. Worried she will discover sensitive videos, he plans damage control, possible deletions, stricter moderation, and Patreon-only written updates. 10:05
24 December
Can we trust The Anime Man Speaker argues Joey's 1.2 million subscribers and 100,000–200,000 views per video should far exceed his own $522 monthly YouTube income. He estimates Joey’s 361 Patreon patrons generate at least $2,000 monthly, alongside Twitch streaming, voice acting, model work, and other income. The video frames Joey’s secrecy and money complaints as audience manipulation, then mockingly urges him to rediscover passion over profit. 10:11 How The Anime Man manipulates his audience for money Speaker argues Joey's 1.2 million subscribers and 100,000–200,000 views per video should far exceed his own $522 monthly YouTube income. He estimates Joey’s 361 Patreon patrons generate at least $2,000 monthly, alongside Twitch streaming, voice acting, model work, and other income. The video frames Joey’s secrecy and money complaints as audience manipulation, then mockingly urges him to rediscover passion over profit. 10:11
27 December
MY FIRST CHRISTMAS IN JAPAN! Christmas in Japan involved returning DVDs, household chores, opening presents, meeting his girlfriend, and Christmas shopping. Rapidly drinking two glasses of wine caused severe dizziness, nausea, collapse, and near- vomiting; he recovered without vomiting or a hangover. He considers Japanese Christmas secular and romantic—like a second Valentine’s Day— contrasting with England’s more family-oriented tradition. 11:26
29 December
Alone again Phone battery failure destroyed his seven-minute 2017 review; he deleted it, reporting creative burnout, scarce ideas, and anxiety about YouTube. While cohabiting with his girlfriend until March, he describes daily sex, a recently cleared fungal infection, and a condom rupture. He reports six Tinder hookups in two months, secretly recording and sharing sex, yet prioritizing his girlfriend and channel. 1:42:13
30 December
Review of 2017 - what happened 2017 began with petrol-station night shifts, a blocked Taiwanese contact, and a new long- distance relationship with a 37-year-old divorced mother. Doxxing and workplace exposure forced deletions; after a robbery and coworker conflict, he quit for translation, art, and YouTube. Tomoko’s lies about age and marriage ended their relationship; Tinder brought six partners in five weeks, including his girlfriend. 11:10

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