How the hate comments have affected me

He says recent bizarre, personal videos were truthful; a carefree, unserious style became his defense against increasingly hostile comments. He reports mood swings: days of dark-cloud hopelessness alternate with sudden positivity; he wonders about mild bipolar disorder, denying suicidality. He will ban repeat abusers, moderate his presentation, and disclose a BetterHelp affiliate promotion: seven-day trial, then $35–$85 weekly.

Online criticism is driving a defensive performance shift, while fluctuating mood increasingly shapes his reactions and self-understanding.