My First Crush

As a socially anxious child, he hid upstairs during visits from Malaysian-British family friends, often joining only after lunch. At 14, he developed a crush, took her number from her handbag, prank-called her, and became depressed when contact ended. The obsession lasted two years with hidden photo collages and emo music; by 2010, he moved on and barely spoke.

His first crush fused social anxiety, belonging, romantic fixation, and grief over childhood relationships disappearing.