i wasted my life...

He revisited Kireuriwari, his 2010 guesthouse and Nagai Park, seeking closure for relationships, marriage and YouTube fame; nostalgia largely failed. Noisy roommates and thin walls repeatedly disrupted sleep; he drafted a complaint but rejected £500–£600 hotel costs for remaining days. He reported nearly £12,000 debt, about ¥3,000 stream-day spending, and only 8–10 planned streams before returning to Britain.

Nostalgia and livestreaming provide purpose, but increasingly expose fatigue, debt, isolation, and stability-seeking.