I wasted my 30s...

At 35, he feels repeatedly pulled back to his childhood bedroom, with little money, no job, partner, car, or property. He sees both decades wasted through travel, short relationships, YouTube, art, and investing, repeatedly ending in quitting and losses. He recognizes relocation and relationships temporarily distract from underlying problems, yet hopes to find tolerable, sustainable work within five years.

He shifts from blaming countries toward recognizing recurring patterns, but discouragement and avoidance remain powerful.