sad and lonely night

Back home in England, he feels unusually happy after Rotterdam, rejects returning to Chihiro, and says lockdown delays meeting another woman. He targets £100,000 through stocks, favors EV-clean-energy shares, and fears losing a $2,800 Rotterdam deposit after paying roughly $2,400 monthly. He says quitting YouTube was trolling; declining views, old drama, and few goals leave him preferring livestreams and home projects.

His attention is shifting from relationships and travel toward stocks, while YouTube remains financially useful but emotionally aimless.