i failed in life, sad and alone forever ：(

Delivered 159 parcels over roughly 8–17:00 and 150 miles; headache, chest sensations, back pain, and exhaustion made double shifts untenable. YouTube, OnlyFans, and driving reportedly total about $2,500; £920 overdraft pressure remains alongside £700 council tax, £900 rent, £130 electricity. He sees Devon as stable—house, car, work—but rejects full-time employment, preserving YouTube and day trading as escape routes.

Autonomy repeatedly outranks stable employment and intimacy, while debt and exhaustion keep volatile income essential.