I failed at life and want to give up...

A family film triggers grief over an unattainable household; he sees chaos as life’s price for happiness but feels hopeless. He admits choosing gaming and livestreams over driving, skills, or work, repeatedly retreating after marriage, Japan, and European dating attempts. Five months after Mila’s breakup, he attributes relationship losses to grumpiness and isolation, fears repeating the pattern, and considers medication.

Growing self-awareness coexists with external blame, entrenched comfort, and declining hope for change.