Why I Hate Myself...

At nearly 32, he says boredom and quitting at difficulty prevent mastery; Japanese and piano illustrate repeatedly abandoning challenges. He regrets failing to appreciate his father and Japanese marriage while present, now recalling both more positively after loss. He admits recurrent rule-breaking, including reusing footage for profit, and stock-market addiction that consumed eight-hour days and neglected Mila.

He alternates between abandoning difficult pursuits and obsessing over interests until relationships suffer.