why I will never become a father

After two months of unprotected sex and two menstrual cycles, he suspects infertility; no clinician has diagnosed him. He suspects untreated 2014 chlamydia, recalling painful urination, joint swelling, delayed treatment, and a mid-range home test. He feels relieved yet saddened, fearing childlessness and that his mid-30s girlfriend may leave to pursue motherhood.

A desired future of fatherhood becomes a source of anticipatory breakup anxiety and self-blame.