How I nearly became a father

In 2017, he flew to Japan for two weeks to meet a 37–38-year-old single mother after intensive Skype calls. He met her nine-year-old daughter within days; outings created a temporary sense of family, belonging, and purpose despite unsettling tantrums. Lacking attraction and unwilling to support another man’s child, he returned to England and his petrol-station job without regret.

Belonging appeals to him, but attraction, autonomy, and resource concerns repeatedly override commitment.