My social anxiety has gotten much worse

After inspecting the mixed-dorm guesthouse, he judged it intimidating and abandoned his prepaid booking rather than entering. He spent hours avoiding entry, then booked an Airbnb, withholding its details because viewers previously harassed hosts and risked eviction. He describes worsening social anxiety, fear of rejection, and a loneliness-avoidance cycle unlike his sociable Japan visits 8–9 years earlier.

His wish for connection is increasingly defeated by anticipatory judgment and avoidance.